American Idol again

Last night I missed all except the last 30 mins. of American Idol. However from the last 30 mins. I got a new favorite; just like my sister, the girl who had Rainbow hair, only on the ends though and she goes to an opera school. She was awesome, wow I use that word a lot. You know who elses uses that word as much as I do, Randy. He is probably my favorite judge out of all 3 of the judges. He hardly ever gets ugly. He is very nice when he talks to everybody. Normally but everyone has a bad day. Anyway, that is it for now. Chow

American Idol

I think this will become a new Wednesday and Thursday topic. I am addicted. Okay last night there is this guy Sean something or other and he said everyone compares his looks to like a terrorist or Castro, I agree with Castro. Nobody expected him to sing well, and he is now a new favorite of mine. He is Awesome. Now I just cannot wait to see if he shaves his beard. We will see. And Sundance was pretty awesome too. We will see if there are anymore favorites tonight.

My academic Star

My oldest daughter has been blessed with a sponge for a brain. Today she participated in a Spelling Bee and placed 3rd. We were very excited about that. She did a great job. She did not even cry about getting her word wrong. She did wonderful, And she wants to try again next year. YAY!!!

AHHHHHH Substance

As I am homeschooling my oldest daughter, I have to admit I do not have a passion for History. But I take it in strides, and I am learning some things also. So today in History we are learning about Michelangelo. All through the lesson my daughter looks at the sculptures very hesitantly and keeps saying how real they look, too real. At the end of the lesson I asked her if there were any works by Michelangelo she liked and she said not really. I said why? She says "Well a lot of them are sculptures of Jesus, and we do not know what he looks like, and isn't it kind of an idol?" My response; when she was little she wanted to draw a picture of God. 1) How do you draw God? 2) Is that a bad thing for a little child to draw? These were the 2 questions that I presented to a friend of my husbands and mine. He said something along the lines of, when you think of Jesus it should be a feeling of worship, his image should arouse those same feelings. So pics. of Jesus in childrens coloring books, story books, and so forth should bring forth those feelings of worship also? However we are not to worship idols, even pics. and sculptures of our Lord. Just to make clear, I have several childrens books in my home that depict Christ, so do not think that I am saying they are bad, however it is pretty tricky because my oldest questions everything and I provide answers as best I can. If I am not sure, we will look it up. So, how do you look upon a beautiful piece of art like the Pieta and not think about what Jesus did for us? See this post has a little substance. :)

American Idol

I try really hard not to watch to much T.V.! It is just a huge distraction with everything else I need to be doing, but one show that I do like to watch is American Idol. My girls really like watching it too, so that brings me to the biggest thing I do not like about it, all the cussing the "contestants" do. At least the people bleep it out so you do not hear the words.
Anyway, so far I have 3 favorites. The brother and sister. Their dad was from India, and has trained them in music. They both sang very nicely, hopefully being in competition like this will not hurt their relationship much. The 3rd person is, I am going to call him "Beatbox Boy." It is very "oldschool" what he does, and he has a pretty good voice too. Anyway, so far those are the 3 I like so far. Anybody who goes country will probably override any of them since that is probably my most favorite genre of music so we will have to wait and see.

CastleWest Fire

Here in the Springs we have had a 130 unit apartment fire. It was a 5 alarm fire, and so far they have found 2 bodies inside the debree. It is now a murder scene because the fire was arson. They have one man in custody and are looking for others involved.
It is terrible for all those people who have lost their homes, and everything in it. The community is really coming together for all those people.
Whenever something like this happens it makes me remember 2 little girls that I knew. Their parents were involved in drugs, owed somebody money or something, and burned their house down for insurance money, killing their 3 children. One of the little girls was in my class, the older girl played with my daughter often, and the young boy I did not know so well. It was so shocking. And this apartment fire is just as shocking. I wonder what people are thinking. Trust me, I feel crazy sometimes, with just the normal frustrations of life, yeah some people irritate me, but never in my life could I imagine doing something like that because someone did me wrong. Boy, if we hurt everybody that made us mad, what a horrible world this would be. It is bad enough without a little self control, what if everyone just acted on impulse. Oy, I hate to imagine it.
Thank God that nothing worse happened. There could have been a lot more deaths, even animals are still coming out of the debree. Maybe the people who lost their homes will be able to start fresh, those apartments were pretty old, so maybe they will get a good upgrade. I know that is almost a petty way of thinking, but right now that is the biggest positive that I can think of.
So just pray for all those people. The community is doing good for material things, so now we all can pray for all of them.

My Babies first Birthday

Today was my youngest daughters first birthday. It was small; just daddy, mama, and sisters. Grandma and Grandpa could not come due to the snow. Anyway it was fun to watch her feeding herself. She started to play peek-a-boo while her hands were filthy with chocolate cake, so needless to say, it was all over her face and hair. It was really funny to watch my two older girls laugh with her, and of course that just encouraged her more. It was an okay day all and all. Isn't that just the cutest face in the whole world. Sorry, I am a little biased.

Just about me.

I have been reading a couple of books lately, one about a woman's anger and how to handle it, and the one I started now has given me great insight. It is called The myth of Submissive Christian woman, my husband is sleeping right now, otherwise I would double check the name, but it is something along those lines. I did not grow up in a Christian home. I did not see a submissive role model, so I really have a small clue about what it is. I have realized that it does not mean that I cannot be me, which is what I think I have been doing wrong. I try really hard to do what my husband asks me to. Keep in mind that there is no illegal requests, for mans law or Gods law, but some very tense situations arise because I just go along and I have always felt that what I wanted did not matter. I know that if I approach the subjects with a gentle heart and word that maybe my opinion will matter. I also have to remember that the only male role models my husband has are the men at church, and we all know men do not talk like women do, so how does he ever see how to love me unconditionally, as I am to respect him unconditionally. Anyway, this is something I have been thinking about. Also, I do not talk of the anger book in this very much because the whole time I read it, I was thinking that my husband really needs a book like this. I am not trying to be disrespectful, or talk bad about him, but he has some anger issues to that if there was a good Christian book out there for men and their anger, I would do a little encouraging towards my husband to read it. Anyway, God has certainly tested us in '06, and I am praying that things start turning around, maybe I can learn to be me again. I need to remember the good parts about me from so long ago. I need to remember that I am not only mom, wife, friend, I am me. And God loves me enough to take me in, and that is truly all I have to remember, and strive to please him daily.

Happy New Year, a little late.

Well Happy New Year. I hope that 2007 is going good so far. We have good news in my house, my husband just a got a new job at the hospital here in town. This is a great oppurtunity for him, with lots of room to grow. So pray for him. It was a nice way to start a new year.

My Birthday

Okay. Like I said before, I know presents do not matter, but I was a little excited, I do not get things very often.
My oldest daughter gave me a slipper, a Minnie and Mickey snowglobe, and earrings. My 4 year old daughter gave me the other slipper, and a claddagh candle. Then from them and my baby, and my husband I got a Thomas Kinkade throw blanket with Sunrise in the middle, and 4 of his churches around it. It was great. Very nice. Oh yeah, I forgot one thing. My husband made me a pine-apple upside down cake, that is my favorite. It was also the first cake he has ever made. Wasn't that nice of him? All and all it was a very nice birthday. I am now 28, not quite to old yet, right?

Something different

Hello again. Guess what? In 5 days I will be 28 years old. Do you still count down the days before your birthday? I thought I would stop counting down, but every year I catch myself counting how many days. This year I am kind of excited, my kids and my husband actually got me a present. That is very abnormal here. I know that a present does not really matter, but it kind of has me curious. I will tell you what I get. The other "different" is that we are all but done with Christmas shopping this year, normally that does not happen either. Usually my husband and I are scavaging around 2 days before Christmas for ALL our gifts. This year there are only a few things left. It is kind of nice to think that I won't be up super late on Christmas Eve wrapping everything. It will definitely be different.
Let everyone remember the true meaning for CHRISTmas, do not ever forget that there was a baby, that grew up, did miraculous things for many, many people, took a severe beating, got stabbed, and hung on the cross, for us. So someday, by the grace of God, we can go to heaven. On this Christmas, stop and remember the night this baby was born, and the sacrifice he made for us all. Welcome him into your heart and rejoice that he is there, and remember (what andreapowell said, not her exact words) we will be truly happy one day, in heaven, thanks to that sacrifice.
Merry Christmas. I will see you after the New Year.
God Bless You All.

Hope

Hi All. I have to say that I relize my last few posts have been a little negative and I must say that lately I have been feeling a lot better. I know that pleasing God is my ultimate goal. I also know that I am not perfect, not a perfect mom or wife by a long shot, and not a perfect steward to God, as much as I would like that. On "Pyro" they have talked about loving God with all your mind, body, and soul. And the 2nd, love thy neighbor as yourself. We can hardly do that day to day. I know I will never be perfect here, I know my life will never be perfect here. My pastor talked about having Hope and that if you have hope you will have patience. Not his exact wording, but that was the general message, and I must say that it was very impacting on my heart. I have not felt really angry about things in a while. Normally I am a very patient person and I was feeling very overwhelmed about my lack of it. But I have regained myself, now I just need to remember to talk about things that are bothering before it gets out of hand. Yep, I feel like I am out of the shadow for a while.

If you have been reading

If you have been reading my blog and comments, you will understand this post. If not go back and read my last entry and then read this one. Here is another thought about my issue for you wise women who read my blog, and wise men who would be interested in commenting.
Okay, so a few weeks ago I decided that no matter what I did I would not be able to please my husband. I home school my children, I do not work, even though financially I think it a pretty dumb idea right now, I try my hardest to keep up on housework, and I do not think I do such a bad job. I have decided that I need to pray for my husband, even more than I already do, and live to make God happy. So far so good, right? But then I am told that by doing that I am being un-Christian. I am suppose to please my husband, in housework, kids, all things, and by not doing that I am being disrespectful. However I feel that I am trying very hard at all these things and everytime I turn around he is still unhappy.
Now, I know that there are many things that I can improve on, and I feel that I am trying and learning how to do things better than I did before. You can ask any of my family about my housecleaning skills growing up compared to now and how much better they are. And I have very personal experience about how much worse it could be. I am not idle most the time, I do not go out with the other stay at home moms because I have been asked to focus on my home, I have submitted to those things, and most days I do not mind. However, it is okay for him to change plans for the day for something he needs to do, but if I want to cut and run to go spend time with another mom he does not want me too, because I need to focus on more crucial things.
One more thing and then I will respond to any comments, or maybe post more thoughts, what is the proper way to submit? For example,even if I disagree with what he wants and we have discussed it and he says it needs to happen and we do it his way (for lack of better words) Isn't that submitting? or if I agree with what he wants and submit? Isn't part of submission doing what is asked of you by your head of house no matter what? No matter how strongly you are convinced it may not be the best choice or idea? Alright, I await your comments, let me know what you think. I feel very negative again tonight so if this comes across a little nasty, Sorry.

What if....

I just have one question? What if you are not totally happy with the lot you have? Most things in my life I can say thank you God, that is great, but what about the rest where I feel beat down? What do I do with it? I know I can "tell" God, and ask him to change it, right? I will pray and ask him to give me satisfaction\happiness with all that I am unsatisfied with? I feel like everything I have is by the grace of God, my kids are fed and clothed not because I have a lot of money and such. All things that my family needs we have, so I should not complain to much. But I do so wish that I could be happier about my life. I know there are people out there who have it much worse than I do. Trust me I grew up my whole life telling myself that, so I guess as an adult I though I would not need to tell myself that so much. And that is exactly what is going on. Do you think God is punishing us for our past. I know He can be merciful, but there are plenty examples in the bible of God showing his disapproval, making people repent for their mistakes. So is that the point, do I repent my sin of unhappiness and ask for peace and guidance. The other thing that bothers me is, tell me if I get this right, my disappointment in life shows my disappointment in God, my anger at certain people shows my anger towards God, etc. etc.! Because if He is in control of all, which is another big topic in my head lately, predestination vs. freewill, how freewill plays into predestination; then he is working all these issues in my life for a reason, so my displeasure in the issues shows my displeasure with him, even if I do not mean it that way. Right? Wrong?

Talk about hypocrisy

Joyce Meyer, I do not even want to put in the rest of the title for her, said that she hardly believes the church will welcome gays into the churches because that is not what the bible teaches. UMMMM, excuse me, where does it say that a woman should be in the pulpit? Where is it said that the woman should be head of her church? Maybe she should re-read her bible! That is just so frustrating. Just some background, this woman was on the news this morning talking about Pastor Haggard, she did not call him a hypocrite, she just said she did not think that the evangelical church would be welcoming gays in the church etc. etc. , as stated above, and it just blew my mind that she could say that with the title of Reverend next to her name. Can you say "AHHHHHHHHH." I am judging her a lot more harshly than I should but it is just so frustrating. Anyway, now I can go to sleep since I have that off my chest. Thanks. Talk to ya' soon. Nite-Nite.

Howdy do? I tried to post last night but something happened and my post did not go through. Oh well, I bet anybody could guess what it was about if you thought hard enough. Poor guy and his family. I will pray for them. You know who I am talking about. He has a lot on his plate all of a sudden. OUCH!! Anyway, My daughter fell off her bunkbeds last week. Had to get 4 stitches. There was so much blood that my husband and I could not tell where she was hurt and called 911. So the firemen show up, then the paramedics, and one police man. It was a man so I am being P.C. (lol) Poor baby, she is lucky she did not get hurt worse than what she did. I am so grateful that it was not worse. We also had to do a CT to make sure there were no fractures on her skull, there were none, thank God. She asked me why I did not catch her, one reason is I was not in the room when it happened and I told her that God caught her because she could have been hurt so much worse and that she was very lucky. So thank God she is okay. She is a strong Irish girl so she will just keep on keeping on. That is also pretty bad, not much scares that girl. Well I need to be off and take care of a few more chores before bed. Hope you all have a good Sunday, and I hope the word will fill you. God bless.

happy Sunday

Today was a very good day. My kids were good while we got ready for church, once we got there they tried to be challenging, but they did preety good. It was a good sermon too. I feel much better today than I did last week. So I hope you all have a wonderful week. I hope God will bless your days and nights. Good night.

My conflict

Okay, so my ultimate conflict right now is this. I know I have to put my faith, hope, trust, in God. I cannot put any of that in my husband, or myself. How do I know if what I feel is the right thing, is what God wants me to do. With important issues, not silly girl things, like hanging out, but like finances, working vs. staying at home. I am conflicted in my mind and heart so much as of late, I just want to go cry, and I am not a crier. (anymore) There are so many conflicting feelings between my husband and I, I have lost a lot of respect for him and as hard as I try to do the unconditional respect thing, I fail. I make him angry because the way I say things, I am not loving enough, or respectful enough. I do not mean to be. I do not know how to change it. So I say pray for me, I tell him to pray for me. I pray for him often. I am sad, and doing more damage then good. Anyway that is the way I feel right now. Anyway, It is off to bed for this girl. Can I ask for prayers from any readers? I need help with these issues, and I cannot make straight that which God has made crooked. I am crooked, and need some straighting.

Yeah. my first link for you all. I found this site Pyromaniacs on the same blog that Michael found mine, and if it were not for his tips, I would not have figured it out as easy. Thanks Mike, your awesome. Anyway, if you have not seen it yet, Check out teampyro, They can get a little crazy over there, and I mean that in a good way. :)