Tuesday, January 29, 2008
What do you do?
What do you do when everything you do or say seems to be wrong? I cannot ever seem to say the right thing or do enough, now do not get me wrong, I do neglect things. But I also try to do the right thing. I am not good at being a good wife, mother, or friend right now. I do not know how to turn this around. I do not read my bible as much as I should, mostly every other night when it is my turn to read to the girls. I have also been trying to do daily devotions with the girls in the morning, so far we have done it 3-4 days in the last 2 weeks. I am disorganized both externally and internally. How do you turn it around? How do I become that great wife, mother, and friend? I just wonder if I am truly doing all I can. I am soooo tired and stressed almost all the time. I really do not have a great desire to do all the things I am supposed to. I think I try, but I guess I do not. Alright, well enough ranting. Maybe I will shut-up and pray. That is one thing I do well, I am always taking things to God. Trust me, I do it A LOT!!!!! I am going to add that I guess I am bothered most by the fact that a lot of people I know (and read) seem to handle the same things that I have on my plate so easily, what is sooo different about me? Why am I not happy about everything like that? When it comes right down to it, I am pretty happy, but I have a lot of stressful days, and unhappy, grumpy moments. I guess I am on the down side of my "emotional roller coaster" today. I will start going back up soon, I am sure!
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6 comments:
Of course you are tired,,,, your pregnant!!! You have alot on your plate!!! Why don't you scrape some of it off and try a few less items to take in at one time!!!
lisa
Don't beat yourself up. It is something that we all deal with as moms and wives. I think you are doing a great job. When you feel yourself getting to the breaking point, give the girls something quiet to do and take a nice, hot, bubble bath with the door locked. That's what I do. Sometimes, though, I don't get that bubble bath until the boys are in bed and it's late at night. It's better than nothing and I know you love your bubble baths, too. It's my stress reliever. :)
Today, I just found out yesterday, will be my last day watching Timothy - he's being shipped off to the day care! Woo-hoo for me! Which means, pretty much any weekday but Thursdays, I would be more than glad to come grab your girls for awhile; so you can take your bath and a nap, or practice your "nesting" skills, if you prefer (I'd take the nap). OK?
Boy do I recognize this line of thought. I'm so sorry, Tessa, you are having a rough time. When I fall into this thinking, it has been helpful to remember some things God has taught me in the past.
I don't know if you remember, but a few years ago, one of the recurring themes in Pastor Powell's preaching was, "It is with God with whom we have to deal." The idea being that all our circumstances are from the hand of God. Our happiness and contentment will not come outside of the God-ordained situation God has placed us in.
We can be confident that our faithful heavenly Father, the One who loved you enough to sacrifice His own Son for you, has your good in mind. This includes your personal strengths and weaknesses, your family situation, your financial situation, etc.
We all get overwhelmed by our circumstances sometimes, struggle with depression, and wish things were different. We must cling to the promises of God during these times.
Another wonderful lesson I learned under the teaching of Dr. Powell is that God is very concerned with your fellowship with Him, not with your performance. God's purpose in bringing difficult things into our lives is to bring us closer to Him. Fellowship with our God is of much greater value than our personal comfort. The value of personal comfort is a lie of the world. None of the great saints of the Bible or of history had lives of ease and comfort. Our view is to be to eternity. The great paradox of Christianity is we gain what we desire by giving it up. We gain happiness when we stop pursuing our own happiness and seek the service of others. We gain closer relationships when we stop wishing others would meet our relationship needs and seek to meet the needs of others. Being a Christian, being Christ-like, is setting aside our own priorities, as Christ did for our sake, and lay down our lives for others, as Christ did for us.
Sounds easy, doesn't it? NOT! This is our God-ordained struggle for our whole lives. But God promises this struggle the struggle to become more like Christ, is the way to authentic happiness and contentment in this life.
Our response when we fail at perfect self-sacrifice is not to focus on our failure, but to cling to the cross. Christ paid for our sins, so to punish ourselves for our failures is to say that Christ is not a sufficient Savior. Falling into sadness because we fail is a natural response, but we must resist the lie of Satan that we are not good Christians, or we are failures. We are complete in Christ and even our failures are within God's will for our perfection. The only antidote to the lies of Satan which defeat us, is countering with the truth of Christ.
God has placed you in a good church, one of the great aids He has given busy Mom's for our encouragement. It is hard to find time for personal Bible study when our busy schedule and own weaknesses combine. Cling to the fellowship of the saints, and use the rich teaching of your church to seek for the strength and encouragement you need right now.
I hope this is helpful. God is sufficient. "Taste and see that the Lord is good."
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LF
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